It's SO hard to find good help these days:

I would like to show you all my winter home. It was built by my Great Grandfather for his new bride, but unfortunately stone houses really weren't her "thing", so he eventually deeded the house over to my Grandfather, who in turn deeded the house to my father and eventually it was given to me. You'll notice the people sitting on the benches in the background, they're my undocumented kitchen help. It never fails: you turn your back on them for one minute and already they're loafing.